21/01: Orphanage Update 1-21-2009
It would seem as the wind of change is blowing on the sails of the orphanage project. This may be why the Lord has halted the project in order to redirect our attention. Erssentially in Malawi there are two kinds of orphan care facilities. First is the community based orphan care system. 99%+ of all orphan centers in Malawi are of this type. The second is Resident orphan care centers…this is what we were planning on being.
Community Based Orphan Care Centers:
These are functionally speaking, day care centers Monday through Friday, during school hours. In the past we refused to look at this option as it did not get the orphans off the streets at night when they are most vulnerable. This is the format that the Government here advocates. They want the children raised by the community and not isolated from it.
Resident Based Orphan Care Centers:
These are functionally new permanent homes for the orphans (until they graduate school and are sent back into society). These are not normally permitted by the government, but by the Grace of God, these were written into our bylaws when the government approved our NGO (Non-Governmental Organizational) status – essentially recognizing us as a non-profit Christian organization in Malawi. So legally we can start these types of centers, but it would be a great fight.
While Maribeth and I were talking recently, she told me of a new initiative by some of the local community based orphan care centers. They function as outlined above, but additionally they have regular in home visits with the children to minister to the families or community care takers, and to insure they are being properly cared for. This would seem to not only cover our concerns about the children being protected from predators, but would also allow us avenues into hundreds of homes to share the Gospel and minister on a regular basis.
Additionally, there are still street children that are not being cared for by the community that may be possible for us to register with the police to take them in on a temporary basis until we can provide a community based home for them.
So then the question becomes, ‘What about all of the bedrooms and facilities?’ Well, the Lord may simply be partially combining our 3 phases into one. Once the current phase was to be completed we were planning on providing additional classrooms and missionary housing so we could bring regular teams in for medical, dental, construction, discipleship, evangelism, and children’s ministry.
Also, the maximum children we could serve would be 96 under our current planned useage for the building, but we could instead provide for 200-300+ on a daily basis. We could essentially care for more of God’s children with less funds. The models that are active now that we are looking at are costing $1,500 US per month to support the care (education, feeding, administration, utilities, and home follow up) of 100 children. That breaks down to $15 per month for a child. Our budget before was close to $45 per month for a child.
This would also eliminate the need to quickly finish the building to house the children. Instead, all of the men and churches that have contacted us regarding construction missions would be able to serve as they are called and equipped.
Community Based Orphan Care Centers:
These are functionally speaking, day care centers Monday through Friday, during school hours. In the past we refused to look at this option as it did not get the orphans off the streets at night when they are most vulnerable. This is the format that the Government here advocates. They want the children raised by the community and not isolated from it.
Resident Based Orphan Care Centers:
These are functionally new permanent homes for the orphans (until they graduate school and are sent back into society). These are not normally permitted by the government, but by the Grace of God, these were written into our bylaws when the government approved our NGO (Non-Governmental Organizational) status – essentially recognizing us as a non-profit Christian organization in Malawi. So legally we can start these types of centers, but it would be a great fight.
While Maribeth and I were talking recently, she told me of a new initiative by some of the local community based orphan care centers. They function as outlined above, but additionally they have regular in home visits with the children to minister to the families or community care takers, and to insure they are being properly cared for. This would seem to not only cover our concerns about the children being protected from predators, but would also allow us avenues into hundreds of homes to share the Gospel and minister on a regular basis.
Additionally, there are still street children that are not being cared for by the community that may be possible for us to register with the police to take them in on a temporary basis until we can provide a community based home for them.
So then the question becomes, ‘What about all of the bedrooms and facilities?’ Well, the Lord may simply be partially combining our 3 phases into one. Once the current phase was to be completed we were planning on providing additional classrooms and missionary housing so we could bring regular teams in for medical, dental, construction, discipleship, evangelism, and children’s ministry.
Also, the maximum children we could serve would be 96 under our current planned useage for the building, but we could instead provide for 200-300+ on a daily basis. We could essentially care for more of God’s children with less funds. The models that are active now that we are looking at are costing $1,500 US per month to support the care (education, feeding, administration, utilities, and home follow up) of 100 children. That breaks down to $15 per month for a child. Our budget before was close to $45 per month for a child.
This would also eliminate the need to quickly finish the building to house the children. Instead, all of the men and churches that have contacted us regarding construction missions would be able to serve as they are called and equipped.
28/12: While Men Slept
Coming Soon
Coming Soon - Philippians 2:12
18/12: Depth Perception
While seeking the Lord recently on what He wanted me to preach on, He gave me an image of a tightrope walker. The focus however was not on the walker himself, nor the wire, nor that which he was crossing. Rather, it was on his balancing tool...the long pole held horizontally in his hands. This gave him stability and made the safety of his journey more likely. When walking a thin line, it is best to have a balancing tool.
I believe what the Lord was showing me was a message for His church. God's Church / His people need to have a tool to help keep them balanced. While this message could have gone a number of different ways, and still may, right now the focus He gave me was our need for balance when it comes to understanding exactly Who He Is. Below are some of the things that I believe the Lord gave me as pertaining to this message.
The first is depth perception. You and I as human beings are able to perceive depth because we have two eyes...i.e. two reference points. Our brain is able to take the imagery and information from both eyes and help us perceive depths and distances. Without these two reference points our perception of the world around us would be vastly different. I experienced this first hand when I began going blind nearly nine years ago. I was walking into people, pushing buggies into cars, jamming straws up my nose and crashing into walls constantly. This happened because I lost over 90% of my left eye first. (God has already healed me.)
The same concept applies to our understanding of Who God is. We tend to see God with one eye wide open and the other shut up tight. We only see what we want to see of God. I honestly believe this is one of the foundational problems of churches today...one reason that leads ultimately to the Lukewarm church that Christ vomits out of His mouth in Revelation 3:16. There are many areas where this is true, and I will discuss them here as the Lord leads. Some deal with the 'isms' that are the illegitimate offspring of prideful men desiring to sow tainted and synthesized tares instead of the good and organic seed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Others are simple one dimensional, ear tickling, non-offensive, views of God that are preached and re-preached each and every Sunday from pulpits, tv's, radios and computers across the globe.
To bring this idea home to Scripture, consider again what makes our depth perception (3D) possible. We need to have 2 different reference points to perceive the 3rd dimension (depth). So if we are going to perceive even the slightest depth of God, we need to combine what we know of Him from different reference points. The primary verse that the Lord led me to was Romans 11:22 "Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off."
Notice the first part: "...consider the goodness AND severityof God."
I cannot tell you how many times when I share and counsel with individuals that they ultimately say basically, 'well doesn't God just forgive everybody?' or 'how can a God of love send people to Hell?' People seem to have a problem grasping the fullness of God. How can there be a realization of Grace if there is not punishment for Guilt? How can there be acceptance of Divine Mercy without promise of Righteous Judgment? How can their be a Salvation if there is no Condemnation? There can't.
Worth noting here is that the word above for the 'severity' of God does not mean 'severe' as in harsh or mean. It actually means to sever, as in cut-off. This is another lesson all in itself as it pertains to true and false converts.
The Scriptures are full of verses just like the one in Romans 11:22. Consider some of the ones below as just a small sampling.
BEHOLD THE GOODNESS AND SEVERITY OF GOD:
Numbers 14:20-23 “20And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word: 21But as truly as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD. 22Because all those men which have seen my glory, and my miracles, which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have tempted me now these ten times, and have not hearkened to my voice; 23Surely they shall not see the land which I sware unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it:” (KJV)
Joshua 23:11-16 "11Take good heed therefore unto yourselves,that ye love the LORD your God. 12Else if ye do in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you: 13Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. 14And, behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the LORD your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof. 15Therefore it shall come to pass, that as all good things are come upon you, which the LORD your God promised you; so shall the LORD bring upon you all evil things, until he have destroyed you from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. 16When ye have transgressed the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them; then shall the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly from off the good land which he hath given unto you." (KJV)
Romans 2:1-11 "1Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. 2But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things. 3And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? 4Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance? 5But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; 6Who will render to every man according to his deeds: 7To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life: 8But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, 9Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; 10But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: 11For there is no respect of persons with God."
I believe that the root of the problem with not having proper depth perception of God is a misunderstanding and application of the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:19-20. Jesus commands us all to, "19Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."
I think we get the 'make disciples' part (although I don't think we are doing it right), what we are missing I believe is the 'baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit' part. I know that in most traditional churches we physically dink people in water and say, 'I now baptize you in the name of...' and it seems as though that is taken to be fulfilled.
When you look at the original Greek words in that passage, the word translated as 'baptize' means to flood or immerse. 'In the name of' essentially means the name, character, nature, position, purpose, rank, etc. So if we could rewrite it with these words expounded it would read:
"Go therefore and teach all nations, flooding them with the knowledge and understanding of Who God the Father is...His character, nature, etc., and flooding them in the knowledge and understanding of Who God the Son is...His nature, character, position, purpose, etc., and flooding them with the knowledge and understanding of Who the Holy Spirit is...His nature, purpose, how He operates, how He is grieved, etc., while teaching them to observe all of the things I have commanded you..."
Consider the following rewrite based on how we do traditional do things today, "Go teach...dunk them in water...then teach some more."
You see, the first rewrite makes more sense as it is all about teaching and not just dunking. Does the Lord want us baptized? Absolutely. But I think we as a church today are missing the mark on our Great Commission. Most people in church today really do not have a good and balanced picture of God the Father nor the Holy Spirit.
In order to have a working and fruit bearing faith in God, we have to have both eyes open and perceive His depth. We have to understand and acknowledge both His Goodness and Severity. The same rings true for accepting His undeniable sovereignty and our chargeable free will. That tightrope walker's balancing tool would be worthless and even dangerous if it only had one side. The balancing tool itself had to be 'balanced' to be helpful. So too can our doctrine quickly turn to poison if we do not have an accurate depth perception of our God.
There is a reason God saw fit than to reveal more than one aspect of Himself to us. It would behoove us to take careful heed to all He has revealed to us.
I will build on this next, Let me know your thoughts.
I believe what the Lord was showing me was a message for His church. God's Church / His people need to have a tool to help keep them balanced. While this message could have gone a number of different ways, and still may, right now the focus He gave me was our need for balance when it comes to understanding exactly Who He Is. Below are some of the things that I believe the Lord gave me as pertaining to this message.
The first is depth perception. You and I as human beings are able to perceive depth because we have two eyes...i.e. two reference points. Our brain is able to take the imagery and information from both eyes and help us perceive depths and distances. Without these two reference points our perception of the world around us would be vastly different. I experienced this first hand when I began going blind nearly nine years ago. I was walking into people, pushing buggies into cars, jamming straws up my nose and crashing into walls constantly. This happened because I lost over 90% of my left eye first. (God has already healed me.)
The same concept applies to our understanding of Who God is. We tend to see God with one eye wide open and the other shut up tight. We only see what we want to see of God. I honestly believe this is one of the foundational problems of churches today...one reason that leads ultimately to the Lukewarm church that Christ vomits out of His mouth in Revelation 3:16. There are many areas where this is true, and I will discuss them here as the Lord leads. Some deal with the 'isms' that are the illegitimate offspring of prideful men desiring to sow tainted and synthesized tares instead of the good and organic seed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Others are simple one dimensional, ear tickling, non-offensive, views of God that are preached and re-preached each and every Sunday from pulpits, tv's, radios and computers across the globe.
To bring this idea home to Scripture, consider again what makes our depth perception (3D) possible. We need to have 2 different reference points to perceive the 3rd dimension (depth). So if we are going to perceive even the slightest depth of God, we need to combine what we know of Him from different reference points. The primary verse that the Lord led me to was Romans 11:22 "Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off."
Notice the first part: "...consider the goodness AND severityof God."
I cannot tell you how many times when I share and counsel with individuals that they ultimately say basically, 'well doesn't God just forgive everybody?' or 'how can a God of love send people to Hell?' People seem to have a problem grasping the fullness of God. How can there be a realization of Grace if there is not punishment for Guilt? How can there be acceptance of Divine Mercy without promise of Righteous Judgment? How can their be a Salvation if there is no Condemnation? There can't.
Worth noting here is that the word above for the 'severity' of God does not mean 'severe' as in harsh or mean. It actually means to sever, as in cut-off. This is another lesson all in itself as it pertains to true and false converts.
The Scriptures are full of verses just like the one in Romans 11:22. Consider some of the ones below as just a small sampling.
BEHOLD THE GOODNESS AND SEVERITY OF GOD:
Numbers 14:20-23 “20And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word: 21But as truly as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD. 22Because all those men which have seen my glory, and my miracles, which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have tempted me now these ten times, and have not hearkened to my voice; 23Surely they shall not see the land which I sware unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it:” (KJV)
Joshua 23:11-16 "11Take good heed therefore unto yourselves,that ye love the LORD your God. 12Else if ye do in any wise go back, and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you: 13Know for a certainty that the LORD your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. 14And, behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the LORD your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof. 15Therefore it shall come to pass, that as all good things are come upon you, which the LORD your God promised you; so shall the LORD bring upon you all evil things, until he have destroyed you from off this good land which the LORD your God hath given you. 16When ye have transgressed the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them; then shall the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly from off the good land which he hath given unto you." (KJV)
Romans 2:1-11 "1Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. 2But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things. 3And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? 4Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance? 5But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; 6Who will render to every man according to his deeds: 7To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life: 8But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, 9Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; 10But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: 11For there is no respect of persons with God."
I believe that the root of the problem with not having proper depth perception of God is a misunderstanding and application of the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:19-20. Jesus commands us all to, "19Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."
I think we get the 'make disciples' part (although I don't think we are doing it right), what we are missing I believe is the 'baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit' part. I know that in most traditional churches we physically dink people in water and say, 'I now baptize you in the name of...' and it seems as though that is taken to be fulfilled.
When you look at the original Greek words in that passage, the word translated as 'baptize' means to flood or immerse. 'In the name of' essentially means the name, character, nature, position, purpose, rank, etc. So if we could rewrite it with these words expounded it would read:
"Go therefore and teach all nations, flooding them with the knowledge and understanding of Who God the Father is...His character, nature, etc., and flooding them in the knowledge and understanding of Who God the Son is...His nature, character, position, purpose, etc., and flooding them with the knowledge and understanding of Who the Holy Spirit is...His nature, purpose, how He operates, how He is grieved, etc., while teaching them to observe all of the things I have commanded you..."
Consider the following rewrite based on how we do traditional do things today, "Go teach...dunk them in water...then teach some more."
You see, the first rewrite makes more sense as it is all about teaching and not just dunking. Does the Lord want us baptized? Absolutely. But I think we as a church today are missing the mark on our Great Commission. Most people in church today really do not have a good and balanced picture of God the Father nor the Holy Spirit.
In order to have a working and fruit bearing faith in God, we have to have both eyes open and perceive His depth. We have to understand and acknowledge both His Goodness and Severity. The same rings true for accepting His undeniable sovereignty and our chargeable free will. That tightrope walker's balancing tool would be worthless and even dangerous if it only had one side. The balancing tool itself had to be 'balanced' to be helpful. So too can our doctrine quickly turn to poison if we do not have an accurate depth perception of our God.
There is a reason God saw fit than to reveal more than one aspect of Himself to us. It would behoove us to take careful heed to all He has revealed to us.
I will build on this next, Let me know your thoughts.
05/07: July 5th Update
After nearly a year, the guard house is finally finished. I know my brother Whitney will appreciate this. We will have the glass / windows in place by Wednesday. You can click on it for a larger image.
The teacher training has been going extremely well so far. They began classes on Wednesday and continued on Thursday and Friday. They were scheduled to only have 10 people attend the training and ended up with 14 with more coming daily that had to be turned away. There is a great demand for the training, so they are considering more classes in coming months. The miracle of it is that these individuals are here on time every day! ;o) Those of you that have been to Malawi and experience the distorted clock of 'Africa Time' know what I am talking about.
The large portion of the team returned yesterday from their trip to the game preserve with great stories of the animals, adventure and fellowship. I am sure they will post more on that on the team blog.
As for the project, we are crawling along biding our time until next Wednesday. That is when we will be able to replenish the funds for the project and buy more concrete. We have had 2 families move in already, Aubrey & Madalo and Gama & Ethel with two of Gama's nephews that he has had to take in. So it is actually nice to have families living here...it feels more like a home and not just a 'project.'
Later today Josh, Bryce and I will begin more landscaping and terracing. We will have to break down the water tank in the front as well. It is turning into a mosquito pit and it is an eyesore. If time permits, we are going to also build a baptismal on the property as well. I know we have several that are desiring to follow through with baptism.
The Lord has been granting us great fruit in evangelism. We have see more taxi and minivan drivers accept the Lord, people on the street, people coming to the site looking for jobs, as well as some of the ladies that came late to the training that could not get slots. Just like in America, they came looking for something else and ended up leaving with Jesus! Monday, Tuesday and early Wednesday, I will be taking Jean, Sara and anyone else that wants to go to do street ministry and house to house ministry in the various villages.
Sunday, tomorrow, we will be attending church here at the orphanage. Last night Asif came to deliver pizzas to us and stayed for a few minutes and just took in the beautiful sights and sounds of Ndirande from our Gazebo. He also said that he would come to church on Sunday as well. The Lord is really working there. Please keep praying. He now wants to go to Bible College! Isn't God amazing!?!
The teacher training has been going extremely well so far. They began classes on Wednesday and continued on Thursday and Friday. They were scheduled to only have 10 people attend the training and ended up with 14 with more coming daily that had to be turned away. There is a great demand for the training, so they are considering more classes in coming months. The miracle of it is that these individuals are here on time every day! ;o) Those of you that have been to Malawi and experience the distorted clock of 'Africa Time' know what I am talking about.
The large portion of the team returned yesterday from their trip to the game preserve with great stories of the animals, adventure and fellowship. I am sure they will post more on that on the team blog.
As for the project, we are crawling along biding our time until next Wednesday. That is when we will be able to replenish the funds for the project and buy more concrete. We have had 2 families move in already, Aubrey & Madalo and Gama & Ethel with two of Gama's nephews that he has had to take in. So it is actually nice to have families living here...it feels more like a home and not just a 'project.'
Later today Josh, Bryce and I will begin more landscaping and terracing. We will have to break down the water tank in the front as well. It is turning into a mosquito pit and it is an eyesore. If time permits, we are going to also build a baptismal on the property as well. I know we have several that are desiring to follow through with baptism.
The Lord has been granting us great fruit in evangelism. We have see more taxi and minivan drivers accept the Lord, people on the street, people coming to the site looking for jobs, as well as some of the ladies that came late to the training that could not get slots. Just like in America, they came looking for something else and ended up leaving with Jesus! Monday, Tuesday and early Wednesday, I will be taking Jean, Sara and anyone else that wants to go to do street ministry and house to house ministry in the various villages.
Sunday, tomorrow, we will be attending church here at the orphanage. Last night Asif came to deliver pizzas to us and stayed for a few minutes and just took in the beautiful sights and sounds of Ndirande from our Gazebo. He also said that he would come to church on Sunday as well. The Lord is really working there. Please keep praying. He now wants to go to Bible College! Isn't God amazing!?!
03/07: Moses on a Bicycle
So here’s the thing. I have been so busy trying to lead the construction project, minister to the Malawians and people in Malawi, as well as lead the team from California and minister where I can, that I had neglected allowing the Lord to minister to me. So on Tuesday evening, after a very discouraging day at the project, I had to go and meet with Asif in town for another great matter. So I decided to walk in to town about 5pm, just before dark. It is about 8km into town, a little over an hour to where Asif works. But for the past week I had not been walking much as the team used minivans, and the Lord really uses that quiet time as we walk (He and I) walk together into town. It had been lacking this past week.
So as I am walking into town, the Lord just begins to break me. I keep feeling such a great burden for the pains, hurts, and eternal direction of so many…the native Malawians, friends like Asif, people on the team, people back home, and people I do not even know…I can actually feel their hurts, pains, and burdens…but I most times have no clue how to deal with this and feel like such an utter failure at taking care of any of them. I felt like a failure for not having the project ready by this time, for not having a place to get these street children off the street in Malawi; I felt like a disgrace for leaving my wife and daughter in such a bind with our housing situation; I felt like such a wretch for being unable to have the words to minister to people like Asif; I reflected on my failures with my employees back in the US…many of whom I use to ashamedly refer to as ‘projects’ the Lord had sent to me to try and ‘work on,’ rather than seeing them simply as ‘lost and hurting sheep that had no shepherd.’ God was not sending me projects, He was sending me and trusting me with living, breathing, hurting children that were orphaned spiritually (and some physically) that needed someone to love them, protect them, watch out for them, teach them, guide them and lead them… and I knew I had failed God and them all.
It was then, in my brokenness, that the Holy Spirit brought to mind a man of God named Moses. The Holy Spirit reminded me of Numbers 11:10a-15 “Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: ... And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.”
He reminded me that Moses had felt the same way. He felt hopeless and powerless, and felt the burden of this people as well. He too was so discouraged that he asked the Lord to just allow him to die so that he would not have to see his own wretchedness…his own utter failure. I could relate to that. After an unidentifiable period of time in this state, something amazing happened…Moses rode by on a bicycle!
It was not the real Moses obviously, but there was a Malawian man, dressed in a Moses like robe, and he was carrying a large hooked staff like we see Moses with in all of the paintings and pictures. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. God sent Moses on a bicycle to confirm I was on the right path and that we were communicating.
That was the turning point as the Lord then began to remind me that it was truly He that was carrying the burden, and not I. He is the one that has born their true burden...the burden of their sin on the cross at Calvary. All He is asking of me is to pick up my cross daily and follow Him…not follow behind Him, but follow Him as a young buck yoked together with a strong and experienced adult that shoulders most of the weight and keeps the plow on course. I am never alone in Christ. The burden is His, obedience stemming from love is mine. Compassion for the lost is ours together.
He then reminded me of the Apostle Paul…he too was ready to spend and be spent for his children begotten through the Gospel. He was ready to be accursed if it would mean the salvation of his people. Consider these and other of Paul's statements:
Galatians 4:19 "My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,"
Paul was grieved over the people God led Him to lead until Christ was formed in them!
1 Thessalonians 2 “7But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: 8So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. 9For ye remember, brethren, our labour and travail: for labouring night and day, because we would not be chargeable unto any of you, we preached unto you the gospel of God. 10Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe: 11As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, 12 That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.”
This is the calling of a Shepherd. This is the burden for his flock.
So as I am walking into town, the Lord just begins to break me. I keep feeling such a great burden for the pains, hurts, and eternal direction of so many…the native Malawians, friends like Asif, people on the team, people back home, and people I do not even know…I can actually feel their hurts, pains, and burdens…but I most times have no clue how to deal with this and feel like such an utter failure at taking care of any of them. I felt like a failure for not having the project ready by this time, for not having a place to get these street children off the street in Malawi; I felt like a disgrace for leaving my wife and daughter in such a bind with our housing situation; I felt like such a wretch for being unable to have the words to minister to people like Asif; I reflected on my failures with my employees back in the US…many of whom I use to ashamedly refer to as ‘projects’ the Lord had sent to me to try and ‘work on,’ rather than seeing them simply as ‘lost and hurting sheep that had no shepherd.’ God was not sending me projects, He was sending me and trusting me with living, breathing, hurting children that were orphaned spiritually (and some physically) that needed someone to love them, protect them, watch out for them, teach them, guide them and lead them… and I knew I had failed God and them all.
It was then, in my brokenness, that the Holy Spirit brought to mind a man of God named Moses. The Holy Spirit reminded me of Numbers 11:10a-15 “Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: ... And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.”
He reminded me that Moses had felt the same way. He felt hopeless and powerless, and felt the burden of this people as well. He too was so discouraged that he asked the Lord to just allow him to die so that he would not have to see his own wretchedness…his own utter failure. I could relate to that. After an unidentifiable period of time in this state, something amazing happened…Moses rode by on a bicycle!
It was not the real Moses obviously, but there was a Malawian man, dressed in a Moses like robe, and he was carrying a large hooked staff like we see Moses with in all of the paintings and pictures. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. God sent Moses on a bicycle to confirm I was on the right path and that we were communicating.
That was the turning point as the Lord then began to remind me that it was truly He that was carrying the burden, and not I. He is the one that has born their true burden...the burden of their sin on the cross at Calvary. All He is asking of me is to pick up my cross daily and follow Him…not follow behind Him, but follow Him as a young buck yoked together with a strong and experienced adult that shoulders most of the weight and keeps the plow on course. I am never alone in Christ. The burden is His, obedience stemming from love is mine. Compassion for the lost is ours together.
He then reminded me of the Apostle Paul…he too was ready to spend and be spent for his children begotten through the Gospel. He was ready to be accursed if it would mean the salvation of his people. Consider these and other of Paul's statements:
Galatians 4:19 "My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,"
Paul was grieved over the people God led Him to lead until Christ was formed in them!
1 Thessalonians 2 “7But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: 8So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. 9For ye remember, brethren, our labour and travail: for labouring night and day, because we would not be chargeable unto any of you, we preached unto you the gospel of God. 10Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe: 11As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, 12 That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.”
This is the calling of a Shepherd. This is the burden for his flock.
30/06: Village People
Saturday we got to spend the morning at Asif's house (Maribeth, Eileen, Jean and myself). Here is a picture of my beautiful neice Rijah. This is Asif's daughter. For those of you who know him, please keep him in your prayers. He has gone through such a dramatic shift in personality and mental state since his accident. May the Lord grant you wisdom in how to pray for him, his wife Nazia, Rijah and Zeshan.
Sunday, the entire team packed up around 6:45am and headed out to the village church in Motopone. It was about a 3 hour drive in the brisk morning air, and extremely bumpy. Below is a picture of the team at the church. We had not only a crowd of people, but cows, goats, and chickens as well.
After church, we got to cross the small branch of the river to an island so that we could walk to the actually Shire River and see the Hippo's and Crocs. Well, we only had an hour to get there and back so we did this rush march through all of the gradnes, weeds, and briers to get there and back in a timely manner, (and we did see a croc), and when we got back to the river the boat man had his boat chained on the other side of the river and was gone. By the grace of God cell phones still work there so we were able to call someone on the other side to go and find him.
He showed up about an hour later drunk so another man took his key and pole and moved us across the river in his stead. It is a fast moving branch that is difficult to navigate. I will try and get some more pictures on here later from the California team.
They start their teacher training on Wednesday next week, and things here are going great. Cold weather, but great.
Love to all.
Sunday, the entire team packed up around 6:45am and headed out to the village church in Motopone. It was about a 3 hour drive in the brisk morning air, and extremely bumpy. Below is a picture of the team at the church. We had not only a crowd of people, but cows, goats, and chickens as well.
After church, we got to cross the small branch of the river to an island so that we could walk to the actually Shire River and see the Hippo's and Crocs. Well, we only had an hour to get there and back so we did this rush march through all of the gradnes, weeds, and briers to get there and back in a timely manner, (and we did see a croc), and when we got back to the river the boat man had his boat chained on the other side of the river and was gone. By the grace of God cell phones still work there so we were able to call someone on the other side to go and find him.
He showed up about an hour later drunk so another man took his key and pole and moved us across the river in his stead. It is a fast moving branch that is difficult to navigate. I will try and get some more pictures on here later from the California team.
They start their teacher training on Wednesday next week, and things here are going great. Cold weather, but great.
Love to all.
Well, here it is Saturday and this is the first opportunity to blog since the California Montessori Project team has been here. We have had a very busy schedule with the project, the team and all of the logistics around such a large group. We also had been missing Grey for 4 days as he had to travel to the far north of Malawi in order give his sister some of his blood for a transfusion. She is fine now and the Lord has sent him back to us as of mid-day on Saturday.
As for the team, everyone seems to be doing extremely well. They were many jet-lagged and fatigued from the arduous journey of 33+ (?) hours journey from California, but they are all doing well adjusting to life in a Malawian orphanage under construction. We have done a good bit of walking the hour jaunt into the town of Blantyre, as well as seeing the people and places in the village of Ndirande just behind the property. This seems to have been everyone's favorite part so far as they got to meet the Malawians that the Lord has knit our souls to. It must have taken us several hours just to walk a small loop around the villagers, their communities, visiting Pastor Maini's house, interacting with the precious people, taking and showing pictures, etc. But it was such a great time allowing them to experience who we fell in love with, and now they can see why.
They have been great troopers putting up with constant power and water outages, construction people in and out of their rooms making repairs, adding doors, hanging curtain rods, shower curtains, etc. Not to mention they are currently sharing 2 toilets and showers between 10 women, and 3 young men.
Here is the team for those of who do not know them:
From left to right, starting in the back: Laura, Lindsay, Rose, Jean, Eileen, Sara, Bryce, Maribeth and Josh. Front Row: Caitlin, Patty, Kim and Josh Y.
Today, Saturday, I am taking Maribeth to meet Nazia, Asif's wife and their children. We will be taking a couple more sisters to help encourage her and love her as well while Asif, the children and I play kickball inside the house ;o)
As for the project, we have almost completed both Gazebos except for the last layer of grass that goes on the roof for appearances. They are complete though. The guard house is completely plastered, it is only lacking the roof and door and some glass windows and a ceiling. We will have the carpenter working on it on Monday to get it ready for the pastors moving in on Tuesday. The same goes for the medical clinic. We are expecting the glass providers to come out on Saturday to measure for the windows. Today we went into town and purchased a bunch of flowers, trees, bushes and such to begin planting all around the project. Josh and Bryce helped with getting some good top soil from the river and Rose and Caitlin helped arrange the plants into new flower beds. We planted maybe 14 bushes, 1 tree and several small flowering plants and ground coverings today. They will work on more tomorrow. The masons have also built steps going from the front walk to the top gazebo, and have started the drain on the boys side. We still do not have any permanent power yet, so we are stretching these temporary wires to their limit.
Sunday morning at around 6:45am we will depart for Motopone (aka. Martha's Vineyard). This is about as rural of a village as you get. The entire team will get their first look at truly rural Malawi. We will be holding a church service there as well.
Here are some pictures from around the site:
For starters, after 11 months of applying for a permit, we finally got to set our sign out by the road. This sign was envisioned and donated by very dear friends from Savannah (don't want to steal his reward in heaven ;o) Here it is finally in place:
As for the team, everyone seems to be doing extremely well. They were many jet-lagged and fatigued from the arduous journey of 33+ (?) hours journey from California, but they are all doing well adjusting to life in a Malawian orphanage under construction. We have done a good bit of walking the hour jaunt into the town of Blantyre, as well as seeing the people and places in the village of Ndirande just behind the property. This seems to have been everyone's favorite part so far as they got to meet the Malawians that the Lord has knit our souls to. It must have taken us several hours just to walk a small loop around the villagers, their communities, visiting Pastor Maini's house, interacting with the precious people, taking and showing pictures, etc. But it was such a great time allowing them to experience who we fell in love with, and now they can see why.
They have been great troopers putting up with constant power and water outages, construction people in and out of their rooms making repairs, adding doors, hanging curtain rods, shower curtains, etc. Not to mention they are currently sharing 2 toilets and showers between 10 women, and 3 young men.
Here is the team for those of who do not know them:
From left to right, starting in the back: Laura, Lindsay, Rose, Jean, Eileen, Sara, Bryce, Maribeth and Josh. Front Row: Caitlin, Patty, Kim and Josh Y.
Today, Saturday, I am taking Maribeth to meet Nazia, Asif's wife and their children. We will be taking a couple more sisters to help encourage her and love her as well while Asif, the children and I play kickball inside the house ;o)
As for the project, we have almost completed both Gazebos except for the last layer of grass that goes on the roof for appearances. They are complete though. The guard house is completely plastered, it is only lacking the roof and door and some glass windows and a ceiling. We will have the carpenter working on it on Monday to get it ready for the pastors moving in on Tuesday. The same goes for the medical clinic. We are expecting the glass providers to come out on Saturday to measure for the windows. Today we went into town and purchased a bunch of flowers, trees, bushes and such to begin planting all around the project. Josh and Bryce helped with getting some good top soil from the river and Rose and Caitlin helped arrange the plants into new flower beds. We planted maybe 14 bushes, 1 tree and several small flowering plants and ground coverings today. They will work on more tomorrow. The masons have also built steps going from the front walk to the top gazebo, and have started the drain on the boys side. We still do not have any permanent power yet, so we are stretching these temporary wires to their limit.
Sunday morning at around 6:45am we will depart for Motopone (aka. Martha's Vineyard). This is about as rural of a village as you get. The entire team will get their first look at truly rural Malawi. We will be holding a church service there as well.
Here are some pictures from around the site:
For starters, after 11 months of applying for a permit, we finally got to set our sign out by the road. This sign was envisioned and donated by very dear friends from Savannah (don't want to steal his reward in heaven ;o) Here it is finally in place:
Here is my favorite Gazebo, the one that faces Ndirande. As you can see, they have completed the steps going to it as well. Only about 1/2 of the roof remains.
Above is the front of the project that has a new flower bed.
Above is the boys side of the building. They have begun bricking the drain, and removing all of the excess dirts and all bricks have been moved to make way for the sidewalk along the building perimeter.
.
These are the shrubs that Abusa Gama and I planted yesterday along the side wall. This area is almost always moist so we planted the shrubs for appearance, as well as function to help soak up the water here.
We stacked all of the bricks in place to honor the work of our brother Whitney ;o)
Here is one of the walls in one of the 5 rooms of the medical clinic wing. Temporarily, the pastors will be living in here.
This picture is taken of the rear guard house standing on the roof looking down. It is ready to go except for the roof and adding the door and windows.
That's all for now. More by Monday after our trip to the village.
Pray for us as we begin going out in teams for street ministry later today as well.
19/06: In the Belly of a Whale
I have a good excuse for not blogging for the past few days...I have been in the Belly of a Whale. So many times I am guilty of reading Scripture and then thinking how crazy and stubborn some of the people I read about are. I can't believe how stiffed necked the mid-exodus Israelites were after seeing all of God's provisions, miracles, judgments and great deliverance. I could not believe how after only three days had past from the Red Sea being parted, the people of God became bitter over bitter water. I had a hard time with Peter's denial of Christ after all he had seen and witnessed. I shake my head in disbelief as I read about all of the evil King's and people throughout all of both books of Samuel, Kings and Chronicles. I can't fathom why Jonah was so defiant that he refused to preach to the Ninevites, because he did not want them to repent and be saved.
Well, when I left the US, I had certain expectations as to how the Lord was going to move to accomplish building (remodeling) the house we are moving into (in only 2 weeks from when I left), and moving my wife and daughter while I am here building the Lord's house for His children in Malawi. I guess I had this expectation of this quid-pro-quo agreement that I had with the Lord that I would do things here the way He wanted, and He would do things at home in the way I wanted. What a joke right?! I can just imagine all of the hazing I will get in heaven from the Saints that went on before me, like Peter, Jonah, etc., for not getting the basics all the while dismayed with their behavior.
For the past three days, since Monday, I have been in the belly of a whale...just like my friend Jonah. And just like Jonah, mine was self-inflicted as well. It would probably help to explain.
For the past three days, I have been unable to blog because I was afraid that my "speech" would not be with "Grace." This was because the people that I thought the Lord was surely going to use, in my timeframe no less, were not able to help (or at least as much in our limited time frame) after all. I had actually considered paying a ridiculous fee to change my ticket to go home immediately, thereby running from what the Lord's call was for me here in this hour, because I was so hurt over the tears my wife was shedding as she was worried about things not getting done and having very little help.
You see, every time I have ever gone away (20++ trips) on missions work with the Lord, my family has received great attacks of mysterious medical ailments, property damage, robberies, employee problems, and this list goes on. It is every single time without fail. My flesh always tells me I am such a failure as a husband and father to subject my wife and children to these kinds of attacks when I go. Others within the church have said the same in a nicer way. So this time, having to leave my wife and daughter to fend for themselves to fix a total project house, move, clean up the old house for the precious family buying it, running the ministry in my absence, taking care of all of my daughter's physical therapy for her surgically repaired knee, etc...caused these voices to ring loud and clear again. The only thing that convinces me to 'forsake' my family in this manner is Scripture. I cling dearly to Luke 14:33, "So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:25-33 for the whole story) But sometimes that grip slips, and I begin to take my eyes off Jesus and instead focus on the storms of life...much like my brother the Apostle Peter whom I judge. We as a family have learned to be confident in these calls to come here and trust that God's Grace is still in these situations. If I/we were in disobedience by me not going, God's Grace would be hindered. For every mysterious illness they have endured, they have all disappeared. For every employee that has quit, the Lord has sent a better one. I digress...
Now, read the message below about Grace. This was the lesson that the Lord gave me on Sunday just before all of this became known to me. You see, I was suppose to be giving Grace to those that did not "meet my expectations." ...But ashamedly I was not willing too. I actually was resisting giving the Grace I had just preached about. What an idiot.
When I went to email on Monday to try and work all of the details out with my wife, I had a bunch of emails that I did not have time to read because I was so busy venting and trying to fix things myself. After about 30 minutes, they had to close the internet for a while for maintenance, so I could not read the emails that were in my inbox. (It actually takes about 30 minutes to send 1 email here.)
So I spent the next couple of days just not getting all of this/ Especially the 'why' of it. According to my ignorant estimation, the Lord was not taking care of things back home for my wife and daughter, His children. It was only late Tuesday that I finally surrendered to the Lord for His will to be done according to His good purpose to will and do as He pleases.
Late Tuesday evening I walked into town to check on any progress on this dilemma; that is when I broke...no...shattered. I cannot even express how much I wept at the internet cafe as I began reading through the emails that were already there from Monday. These are the same ones that I did not have time to open due to my focus on 'sending' instead of 'receiving.' There, in my inbox all the time, were several offers from Old friends, New friends and people that I have never met that wanted to help my wife however they could, and I simultaneously received a call from my wife. Grace was there all along, but I was so busy not giving it that I could not receive it...and my family suffered. They could have had the grace earlier had I given grace.
Not only had the Lord raised up all of these brothers and sisters, but there was an old friend, a gifted contractor, that the Lord raised up to do the work properly at the house. After hearing my wife, it turns out that he has financial needs right now that I believe the Lord wants to bless. Yes it will cost us money we were not budgeting for, but if we can receive Grace, should we not be able to give it? Again, the Lord is working in more lives than just the McEwen's. I should have took my own homework and sought the Lord how I might be able to give Grace and not just seek it. God may have had to busy the lives of those originally offering to help in order to truly show His power, might and sovereignty by raising up His army. Is that not how He has always operated? When the odds are stacked against us, and we seem to have no way out, and things seem hopeless to the flesh...is that not when the Lord is able to show His might while simultaneously perfecting our faith?! I have taught it hundreds of times, but I seem to be a much worse student than teacher...forgive me Lord.
Some people have questioned about the appropriateness of public candor in relation to my personal failures. I too have questioned it, yet still feel it is the right thing. For starters, is this not what we see consistently in Scripture? We all know that Thomas was a Doubter; we know that Peter denied the Lord three times; seemingly the world has known King David's sin for thousands of years; Moses' failure that limited him from entering the promise land is clearly recorded in Scripture. The real stories about real people and their real failures and the lessons that can be learned from them are what makes up a great portion of the Holy Scriptures. Secondly, my trust in the Sovereignty of our God and the promises of Romans 8:28 give me peace that the Lord can use my public and private failures for His glory. Third, the Lord has burned 2 Corinthians 12:8 in my brain. "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Like Paul, I also have an infirmity in my speech and a thorn in my flesh; mine is likely different, but the purpose is the same...to keep us humble and keep us from being exalted above measure.
I have been blessed so much in hearing from the Lord and seeing Him do things that most people would not believe. The Lord has used my few times of obedience for His mighty glory, so my trust is for Him to use my plethora of failures for the same. After speaking at a church once a few years ago, a brother came up to me and praised me for my faith, obedience, and willing to be used by the Lord. But instead of responding with thanks and being appreciative of the boast, I had to tearfully confess to him that, 'you have only heard of the few times I have told the Lord "YES," but you don't know the countless times I have told Him, NO!" '
In this instance, the Lord brought to mind Genesis 18:17. Here is the account of the Lord's relationship with Abraham. It reads, "7And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;" The Lord was trying to give me the same mercy as He gave Abraham. The lesson He gave me on Grace was for such an hour as this. He was giving me a spiritual forecast for the storm headed my way as well as the directions to the appropriate shelter. But in my ignorance, I wanted to use the shelter I had built instead of His.
Struggling to give Grace as freely as I receive it, Randy.
Well, when I left the US, I had certain expectations as to how the Lord was going to move to accomplish building (remodeling) the house we are moving into (in only 2 weeks from when I left), and moving my wife and daughter while I am here building the Lord's house for His children in Malawi. I guess I had this expectation of this quid-pro-quo agreement that I had with the Lord that I would do things here the way He wanted, and He would do things at home in the way I wanted. What a joke right?! I can just imagine all of the hazing I will get in heaven from the Saints that went on before me, like Peter, Jonah, etc., for not getting the basics all the while dismayed with their behavior.
For the past three days, since Monday, I have been in the belly of a whale...just like my friend Jonah. And just like Jonah, mine was self-inflicted as well. It would probably help to explain.
For the past three days, I have been unable to blog because I was afraid that my "speech" would not be with "Grace." This was because the people that I thought the Lord was surely going to use, in my timeframe no less, were not able to help (or at least as much in our limited time frame) after all. I had actually considered paying a ridiculous fee to change my ticket to go home immediately, thereby running from what the Lord's call was for me here in this hour, because I was so hurt over the tears my wife was shedding as she was worried about things not getting done and having very little help.
You see, every time I have ever gone away (20++ trips) on missions work with the Lord, my family has received great attacks of mysterious medical ailments, property damage, robberies, employee problems, and this list goes on. It is every single time without fail. My flesh always tells me I am such a failure as a husband and father to subject my wife and children to these kinds of attacks when I go. Others within the church have said the same in a nicer way. So this time, having to leave my wife and daughter to fend for themselves to fix a total project house, move, clean up the old house for the precious family buying it, running the ministry in my absence, taking care of all of my daughter's physical therapy for her surgically repaired knee, etc...caused these voices to ring loud and clear again. The only thing that convinces me to 'forsake' my family in this manner is Scripture. I cling dearly to Luke 14:33, "So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:25-33 for the whole story) But sometimes that grip slips, and I begin to take my eyes off Jesus and instead focus on the storms of life...much like my brother the Apostle Peter whom I judge. We as a family have learned to be confident in these calls to come here and trust that God's Grace is still in these situations. If I/we were in disobedience by me not going, God's Grace would be hindered. For every mysterious illness they have endured, they have all disappeared. For every employee that has quit, the Lord has sent a better one. I digress...
Now, read the message below about Grace. This was the lesson that the Lord gave me on Sunday just before all of this became known to me. You see, I was suppose to be giving Grace to those that did not "meet my expectations." ...But ashamedly I was not willing too. I actually was resisting giving the Grace I had just preached about. What an idiot.
When I went to email on Monday to try and work all of the details out with my wife, I had a bunch of emails that I did not have time to read because I was so busy venting and trying to fix things myself. After about 30 minutes, they had to close the internet for a while for maintenance, so I could not read the emails that were in my inbox. (It actually takes about 30 minutes to send 1 email here.)
So I spent the next couple of days just not getting all of this/ Especially the 'why' of it. According to my ignorant estimation, the Lord was not taking care of things back home for my wife and daughter, His children. It was only late Tuesday that I finally surrendered to the Lord for His will to be done according to His good purpose to will and do as He pleases.
Late Tuesday evening I walked into town to check on any progress on this dilemma; that is when I broke...no...shattered. I cannot even express how much I wept at the internet cafe as I began reading through the emails that were already there from Monday. These are the same ones that I did not have time to open due to my focus on 'sending' instead of 'receiving.' There, in my inbox all the time, were several offers from Old friends, New friends and people that I have never met that wanted to help my wife however they could, and I simultaneously received a call from my wife. Grace was there all along, but I was so busy not giving it that I could not receive it...and my family suffered. They could have had the grace earlier had I given grace.
Not only had the Lord raised up all of these brothers and sisters, but there was an old friend, a gifted contractor, that the Lord raised up to do the work properly at the house. After hearing my wife, it turns out that he has financial needs right now that I believe the Lord wants to bless. Yes it will cost us money we were not budgeting for, but if we can receive Grace, should we not be able to give it? Again, the Lord is working in more lives than just the McEwen's. I should have took my own homework and sought the Lord how I might be able to give Grace and not just seek it. God may have had to busy the lives of those originally offering to help in order to truly show His power, might and sovereignty by raising up His army. Is that not how He has always operated? When the odds are stacked against us, and we seem to have no way out, and things seem hopeless to the flesh...is that not when the Lord is able to show His might while simultaneously perfecting our faith?! I have taught it hundreds of times, but I seem to be a much worse student than teacher...forgive me Lord.
Some people have questioned about the appropriateness of public candor in relation to my personal failures. I too have questioned it, yet still feel it is the right thing. For starters, is this not what we see consistently in Scripture? We all know that Thomas was a Doubter; we know that Peter denied the Lord three times; seemingly the world has known King David's sin for thousands of years; Moses' failure that limited him from entering the promise land is clearly recorded in Scripture. The real stories about real people and their real failures and the lessons that can be learned from them are what makes up a great portion of the Holy Scriptures. Secondly, my trust in the Sovereignty of our God and the promises of Romans 8:28 give me peace that the Lord can use my public and private failures for His glory. Third, the Lord has burned 2 Corinthians 12:8 in my brain. "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Like Paul, I also have an infirmity in my speech and a thorn in my flesh; mine is likely different, but the purpose is the same...to keep us humble and keep us from being exalted above measure.
I have been blessed so much in hearing from the Lord and seeing Him do things that most people would not believe. The Lord has used my few times of obedience for His mighty glory, so my trust is for Him to use my plethora of failures for the same. After speaking at a church once a few years ago, a brother came up to me and praised me for my faith, obedience, and willing to be used by the Lord. But instead of responding with thanks and being appreciative of the boast, I had to tearfully confess to him that, 'you have only heard of the few times I have told the Lord "YES," but you don't know the countless times I have told Him, NO!" '
In this instance, the Lord brought to mind Genesis 18:17. Here is the account of the Lord's relationship with Abraham. It reads, "7And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;" The Lord was trying to give me the same mercy as He gave Abraham. The lesson He gave me on Grace was for such an hour as this. He was giving me a spiritual forecast for the storm headed my way as well as the directions to the appropriate shelter. But in my ignorance, I wanted to use the shelter I had built instead of His.
Struggling to give Grace as freely as I receive it, Randy.
The Lord has been blessing the progress and the multiplication of the limited funds I was able to bring this trip. So far, here is what the Lord has accomplished since Monday, the first work day after arriving mid day on Saturday.
Currently we are lacking the funds to complete the water tower and tank, so we need to pray for God's mercy for the water not to go out while the team is here starting next week. Also, for security and economy's sake, 6 of our Malawian staff will move into the orphanage on July 1st. This will make for a tight squeeze the last few days of the California teams visit, but it will provide an additional measure of safety for Maribeth as well as Julie for her time here. This will give 6 men staff members onsite as well as the permanent security guard and 3 additional guards at night for a total of 10 men on hand at night. It will also save the pastors nearly 1/2 their salaries in rent. As the orphanage fills up with orphanage staff we will move them to new quarters.
The weather here has been very cold at sun down until late morning. The day time is warm but not too hot. The rains are holding off but the skies threaten daily. Enjoy the pictures below. I will try and update again on the weekend.
Above is the last rain drain being dug down to the reservoir that has already been roughed in. You can click on it for a larger one.
Above is the area that will require most of our manual labor for the Acts III crew and myself. We will be enlarging this terrace to a size of 100 feet long by 65 feet wide. This area will be the last remaining area we can build on. So it should give us 6,500 square feet of space if we are allowed to build on it. If not, we will use it for a recreation area for the children. we have to extend it another 40 feet long and 15 feet wide from its current position. Can you say blisters?
More later. Thanks for all of the prayers.
- The Lord has completed the floors in 4 additional small bedrooms as well
as the 3 other suites. So there is now a total of 4 suites (Bedrooms with
private bathrooms) that have completed floors, walls, ceilings, electrical
and plumbing. There are also 4 additional bedrooms now that are complete
with plastered walls, floors, ceiling and electrical installed, for a total
of 8 usable bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. - The Lord has plastered the front main stairs going into the building and
started the second set of stairs for the next terrace up. - The Lord has had the plumber complete the vents for the toilets as well as
connecting the pipes for the remainder of the back toilets in the boys and
girls hostels. - The Lord has completed the lids for the septic tank and soak away as well
as the man hole covers for them. - The Lord has allowed us to find grace in the eyes of the ESCOM (Malawian
power company) to get out permanent power hooked up this week so we can use
more that one outlet at a time ;o) Currently (no pun intended), we have only
small temporary wires run that allow only limited use. They are only
searching for a power pole for us. - The Lord has granted us favor in the eyes of the carpenter as he has
dropped his rates to get the gazebos completed before the team comes. - The Lord has allowed our team of 5 (including pastors, 2 laborers and
nzungu (me)) to complete the digging of the last side drain and the main
reservoir that all of the drain water will run into. It is all trenched out
and roughed out with a temporary wall until we can shift a mason team to
brick it. - The Lord has also completed nearly 2/3 of the guardhouse wall plastering.
This means we will finally be able to place the roof on it and put it to
use.
Currently we are lacking the funds to complete the water tower and tank, so we need to pray for God's mercy for the water not to go out while the team is here starting next week. Also, for security and economy's sake, 6 of our Malawian staff will move into the orphanage on July 1st. This will make for a tight squeeze the last few days of the California teams visit, but it will provide an additional measure of safety for Maribeth as well as Julie for her time here. This will give 6 men staff members onsite as well as the permanent security guard and 3 additional guards at night for a total of 10 men on hand at night. It will also save the pastors nearly 1/2 their salaries in rent. As the orphanage fills up with orphanage staff we will move them to new quarters.
The weather here has been very cold at sun down until late morning. The day time is warm but not too hot. The rains are holding off but the skies threaten daily. Enjoy the pictures below. I will try and update again on the weekend.
Above is the last rain drain being dug down to the reservoir that has already been roughed in. You can click on it for a larger one.
Above is the area that will require most of our manual labor for the Acts III crew and myself. We will be enlarging this terrace to a size of 100 feet long by 65 feet wide. This area will be the last remaining area we can build on. So it should give us 6,500 square feet of space if we are allowed to build on it. If not, we will use it for a recreation area for the children. we have to extend it another 40 feet long and 15 feet wide from its current position. Can you say blisters?
More later. Thanks for all of the prayers.
